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Divorce and Children: How to Lessen the Pain

How to Talk About Divorce with Your Kids

If you are going through a divorce and you are a parent, one of the greatest concerns you may have is the effect the divorce will have on the children.
As a parent, there are some things you can do to assist your children in making the adjustment.

Have a Conversation with Your Children

If possible, you and your spouse should be present when telling children about the divorce.

You and your spouse should discuss what you tell your children prior to the initial conversation you have with them.

Also, you and your spouse should keep your explanations simple and avoid placing blame.

Make Sure the Children Know that the Divorce is not Their Fault

Your children should understand that the divorce is not a result of their behavior or anything that they did.

You should also explain to your children that there is nothing they can do to change the situation and it is not their responsibility to “fix” the current situation.

Make Sure Your Children Know that You Love Them

Your children need to know that the love shared between a parent and child is different from the love that is shared between a husband and wife.

Your children should understand that the love you have for them will not change and will last forever.

Minimize Changes in the Lives of Your Children as Much as Possible

If at all possible, try to keep your children in a stable environment that has minimal change. This could include:

  • Keeping them in the same neighborhood
  • Making sure they have contact with their friends
  • Keeping them in the same school
  • Making sure they participate in their normal activities
  • Making sure they continue to have contact with extended family members

Remember, children need a relationship with both parents.

While a person may not be a good marriage partner, they can still be an excellent parent.

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Child Custody and Support

If you have children and are going through a divorce, make sure you know everything about support and custody:

You may want to consider speaking with a divorce attorney to assist you.